Re-inventing

So yesterday Gaz & I went on a quest with the intention to finally sort out our front room.

We ended up buying a bookshelf and a lamp and flying a kite on a very windy, very cold beach.

When we got home we tore apart the front room. Books and DVDs piled all over the place, random cables, photos all in a mass on our sofas. I thought we'd never get through it all, but we did and the difference is really noticeable.

The space went from a place where things just got put on shelves, to a room with intention. The whole energy of the room has changed and has gotten so much more cosy. I'm really looking forward to hosting our next Wednesday Circle here :)

The next task will be to sort out the left overs in the Red Room and finally get stuck into the Weird Room...which really needs a lot of love.

So easy to get wrapped up in emotional bullshit until a very real near miss occurs and shakes me out of self pity.
Jack, I have no idea what I would do if I ever lost you. Thank you for reminding me of just how much love is out there.

Here & Now...

“My mother once told me that beauty occurs when time ceases to exist..."

Late night poetry

Is it really so easy, for you to let go
To go back to the people and places you know?
Make believe it was a dream from long ago,
and fade back to grey with nothing to show?

Is it really so easy, for you to say goodbye,
to end the conversation and stop asking why?
To give reassurances for another time,
to dismiss it as a fluke, an unusual night?

Is it really so simple, to be as you were,
to forget the passion, the presence, that stir?
Do you find yourself wishing that I was her,
Or is it the status quo you prefer?

I'm trying to hard to leave it be
to move on from that place, to cut myself free
from the ache in my heart that just won't leave
and live in the skin of this new person called me

But I can't walk away from this new revelation
No matter how long I sit in meditation
No matter how I vent in conversation
I just want to continue the communication

I don't want to go back to the old ways of being
You've opened me up and changed what I'm seeing
You've closed the door and now I'm screening
I won't accept less in future meetings

Insight

We experience the world through our five senses...
So our bodies are the vehicles through which we can experience wisdom.
Wisdom being so often intangible, sometimes we mistake the body for the wisdom and try to hold on...forgetting that the experience will always be there. No matter how the tangible world around us may shift and change beneith our senses, the wisdom will remain.

Heart sick

You might as well ask me to stop breathing
for the difficulty I have
in just trying to hold the line.

You might as well stop me in mid-smile
as tell me that I'm just not allowed to do
what comes so naturally

You might as well ask me
to sit in a darkened room and be content
to know the sun exists

A door has opened within me
and not only do I not want to close it
I refuse to.

I will honour my word
I will stand witness
I am here.

To Fill with Love

You taught me so much in our time together. We connected on a level I've never experienced and I am grieving the space you once filled
We worshiped in a sacred space, healing deep wounds.
I'll never regret it, I'll never forget it and I will always love you til the day I die.